Wednesday 28 February 2007

for HCW

revisiting words of forgotten wisdom
in deeper appreciation, now many years have passed
sparked a tiny hope of reunion
which gently pulled me back to knowledges seat

I searched for you, happy
but found not a trace of your name
except one, hidden in long ago archived print
and realised, whats past can never be regained

tears pricked at my eyes
for the childlike thought that nothing would change
and the callous erasing of time
which left not a mark to show
how great you were
to all
to me

my teacher.


* * *

Dedication
(c) June 2006

Friday 23 February 2007

virtual III

the official rules

"Suppose a man according to his physical health expects to live for 150 years provided he looks after his health. If he does not, his expectation of life will be reduced to one half of that period. Now suppose that man does not look after his health and dies at the age of 75. It will be right to say that this man was destined to have two ages, and both of them were conditional. The condition of only one of them was fulfilled.

The destiny the condition of which has been fulfilled is irrevocable, and that the condition of which has not been fulfilled is revocable."


nest eggs & hacks

1. A direct appeal to the Author can be made at any stage, and will be answered.

"And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way."
-- Holy Quran, 2:186

2. Special power: Prayer. May be employed by any player at any time, and can alter any aspect of the game, even if this involves breaking outside the set framework of the game.

"Prayer changes even confirmed destiny"
-- hadeeth, Holy Prophet (saw)


3. Special power: good works. The game is coded such that virtuous deeds will always lead to a greater reward than vice. This is the case regardless of where the apaprent benefit lies. Virtues shape the player's future as consequences of his own free will, as previously discussed.

"The number of those who die because of committing sins is larger than the number of those who die their natural death, and the number of those who live because of doing good deeds is larger than the number of those who live because of their real age"
-- hadeeth, Imam Sadiq (as)

4. Alliance with the Forces of Nature.

If the player has managed to perfect the use of all three methods combined, he may succeeding in allying himself with a number of great, fundamental, non-material causes of destiny, which are part of the programmed world order. Some examples of these forces follow.

force: "the support of Justice & Equity", because of which the world is in existence. All efforts allied with this join the greater whole, and will not be wasted.

"Believers, if you help Allah's cause, He will help you and make you stand firmly"
-- Holy Quran, 47:7

force: "Trust in the Author", by which the player gains conviction, strength and determination. He will never fear death, devastation, poverty or helplessness as a consequence of the path of virtue.

"Such people when warned to fear those who are gathered against them, (the threat of danger) increased their faith and they cried: Allah is sufficient for us! Most excellent is He in whom we trust!"
-- Holy Quran, 3:172



"the world has been so arranged that the whole system of causes and effects will come to his aid if he whole-heartedly exerts himself to serve the cause of his creed. His power naturally increases thousands of times when the energy stored in the world comes to his aid."

* * *

more ideas from Man and his Destiny, M Mutahhery
(c) Feb 2007

Thursday 22 February 2007

A Dieu

dedicated to those closest of friends I only spoke to a handful of times.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So you've come one last time to bid me farewell
i'll smile and say, i cant pretend i wont miss
what i saw in you since that first day
that sweet spark of goodness that winked
at me playfully once & over again
& we grew in quiet respect to appreciate
what must have been a type of love -- it is there still
not clinging, secure & unchanging as distance tears us apart & spreads

So now you're moving on & won't visit anymore, i wish you
all you'd dare to dream for & more, as the world is at your feet
& though once in a while i'll think back over days gone by
it will always be with fond memories & never questioning
why each leaf that's blown from the same tree falls so far

My friend I can't say i wont miss talking
but this was never the true link which grew, that wont be severed over miles & times
for what i saw & loved in you keeps you in my prayers

So, i thank you for the parting wish
which is more than i've had from some like you, who just disappeared
& wish you all your heart desires in life, i know you'll be fine
until the great reunion which draws like to like, if i should ever cross your mind
& too make you smile & wonder what i'm up to, & care to visit one last time
although i know you wont & thats ok i'll say,

i'll always be here
should you want to try.


* * *

Sunday 18 February 2007

virtual II

by analogy

1. the "incompatibility" of destiny & free-will. your world is pre-programmed. each choice presented to your character, its consequences and the choices it leads to are all determined at the earliest stage of game development. all possible futures for your character are encapsulated in this, as at no time can the game evolve outside the original structure set by the Programmer. As He wrote it, He has knowledge of these - all that will or could possibly befall you. This includes both actions as a result of your choices, and the greater storyline that is the Author's decided theme for the game.

This is destiny.

You are the character. You enter the world free, and are presented with a number of choices. At each stage, you are able to select your course in consideration of the consequences of your actions, and your overall aim. Although the branches of the choices you face are set, you are free to select which of the thousands and thousands of branches you will walk upon at each fork in the road. You can play the game as it was intended, or ignore the plot and amuse yourself as you see fit. You can shape your path through the consequences of your deeds, which lead to specific situations dependent on your previous choices. You can decide if you will be the hero or the villain, and this is irrespective of which of these the Author desires you to become. He has presented you with a number of options, informing you which serve the purpose of the game, and which do not - but does not compel you to choose one side or the other. This, He leaves up to you. Note, the Programmer knows everything which will, and will not be in this game, before, after and during your adventure. As you play, He watches you cut down this myriad of options into one path in your wake -- a path which has always been wholly within His knowledge. You go only from multiple conditional destinies to a single, fulfilled destiny.

This is free will, within predestination.


2. it is incorrect, not to mention incredibly dangerous, to believe because the Author knows what is to befall you, you have no choice in the matter. This is ideologically unsound, as only a tyrant would force arbitrary numbers of people into a path then send them to perdition because of it, while others he gives another path and a sweet reward. It contradicts His property of Justice and Mercy. In addition there would be no motivation to better yourself, nor to accept accountability for your evil deeds.

It is also incorrect, not to mention incredibly dangerous, to believe your free will is an absolute, and nothing is destined. This again is ideologically unsound, as it denies His attribute of Knowledge. In addition man would consider himself capable of all things in and of his own power, shaping a path arbitrarily where there was nothing before, with no greater destiny or meaning.

Ghaylan of Damascus: "Do you think Allah likes to be disobeyed?"
Rabi'ah al-Ray: "It is you who believe Allah is disobeyed against His will!"

* * *

ideas from Man and his Destiny, M. Mutahhery
(c) Feb 2007

Thursday 15 February 2007

virtual

"What's the story?"

When players ask what the story is, I imagine Macbeth asking what the story to Macbeth is before the play begins. You are the protagonist, the hero of the game -- the story is what you decide to make it. There are going to be foils to your character: people who will try to stop some of your more grandiose goals, and people who are there to help it if it serves them. But it is your aims and ambitions that frame the story. After all, these games are plays in which the stars are members of the audience. Given a large, well-appointed stage, a supporting cast of improvisationalists, and an alert backstage crew, they are capable of anything. And the best thing We can do is give you what you want, and get out of your way.

You have a challenge ahead of you in more ways than one. This is a game designed to encourage exploration and reward curiosity. There are opportunities to do great and heroic deeds, and, likewise, possibilities of indulging in less virtuous activities. You are not required to follow a path of righteousness nor a path of depravity, but both roads and everything in between are open to you.

And so we turn the question back to you, "What's the story?" It is not for us to answer. Follow your own spirit and tell your own story in your own way.

We hope only to help you make it real.

* * *
adapted for a purpose,
original courtesy of TES ch. 2: Introduction
Bethesda Softworks.

Wednesday 14 February 2007

"i'm bored"

HOW easily those words roll off the tongue. To paraphrase a respected friend, you would not be bored if you would remember what was really happening. As we sit idle, engrossing ourselves in what is around us, a great calamity ever inches towards. This life we have built for ourselves… this sheltered cocoon… a family, possessions, daily routine and mundane responsibilities… has clouded our vision and obscured it, until it has become all we see. Though we profess “we believe”, our actions speak otherwise. When I look at this computer screen, keyboard, mouse… these black and white words tracing their way across the screen, and think of nothing else, I am saying… this is real. This is reality. This is all there is.

That is what we have been trained to believe. From birth, we have been unwittingly taught to turn our attentions to what is around us. When we grow and adopt beliefs, they come secondary to this preconceived view of the world. I can say, I believe in God… I know about devils and angels, the first day and the judgement to come. I know my responsibilities, as a human... yet the greater world of good and evil, of Truth, justice and light remains beyond my short-sighted gaze. As I type I remain oblivious to the devils whispering around me, and the angels standing guard…. I cannot see the all enveloping Mercy and Power which perpetually surrounds me, and everything else in existence. I cannot see beyond the end of my nose, to my individual and collective human destiny rushing towards me faster than a tidal wave striking the shore. Time is racing towards us, until the Truth arrives… His book, His messenger… His guidance is complete before us; that we might survive. This blindness we have let envelop has almost destroyed us… but for the solitary hope that we may wake up before our eyes close forever, in the arms of death.

We are… as if preparing against an army of ruthless marauders racing towards our gates. Living on borrowed time, we cannot afford to let a day go by without preparing for their advent. As with a tangible threat, our survival and our very existence depends on the extent of our training. This is the ultimate stand, where we must protect ourselves from external and internal weaknesses. This is what matters more than any other battle we will ever see, because on its outcome rests the fate of our lives and afterlives for all eternity. So, untrained as we may be, we must whip ourselves into shape to become great warriors, able to stand side by side in the greatest army. Perseverance is the key, as with any training: the discipline to start small and keep working, the humility to get up after failure and try again. Against the pressures of time, we have the capability to succeed if we overcome our beguiling perceptions… as we are the only real obstacle in our way.


If you find your centre, then you’re bound to win. we were created for this, perfectly suited to this purpose. We were made to find our real selves, and finally stand upright as true Human Beings… useful servants of God, in the army of His Imam (aj).


* * *
(c) final revision Aug 2006

Saturday 10 February 2007

knowledge & submission II

conclusions

1. Learn. even if there is no pressing reason, even if there is no immediate task to fulfil, even if there is no point for learning other than its own sake. learn until you grasp the entirety of the subject, you master it so that its complexities come as naturally as breathing and you can bend and shape its manifestation to whatever form takes your whim. Excel in whatever you can, even if this is not what you would most wish to excel in: for excellence leads to excellence as all rivers join and eventually lead to the sea, while resignation to mediocrity leads only to stagnation.


2. When you are given an opportunity, it will come to you on your home turf. It will be in an area you are connected to, and are capable of understanding. This is true even if you chose not to excel. You will be called upon to use the skills you posess, though the extent of this skill will vary according to your effort in honing it. If you have not made the effort, Trust and Sincerity will help you overcome the trembling of your heart.... if you have, Clarity and Certainty lead your way, and this is by far the easiest path.


3. Once you are certain, the heavens and earth split before you and ask you to Choose. The full consequence of each path will become clear to you, their tails leading high above the clouds or spiralling down towards the earth's core. You will have to choose immediately, for opportunities rarely wait, and delay reflects no choice at all. There is no retreat as noone is able to un-learn. if you devoted yourself to perfecting your vision, you are able to fix your gaze upon the great but distant reward... if you were only concerned by the close and immediate, these will occupy your attention and pull you towards the other choice. You would percieve the bad as good and ease as difficulty.


It is in your nature to act as is best for you; ensure you are capable of judging well what this is.


* * *


(c) Feb 2007

Friday 9 February 2007

knowledge & submission

I have always respected the magicians who came to prove Moses (as) a charlatan, but ended up submitting to his faith when they saw his miracle of the snake. At the most obvious level: these men accepted the veracity of Moses' claims upon witnessing the miracle, and immediately professed belief in his message. I had wondered at the humility and sincerity of these men and had wished to be like them... but did not think much past this point until today.

The sheikh was explaining. These magicians were not just any magicians; the Quran states,

They said: Put him off and his brother, and send collectors into the cities:
That they may bring to you every enchanter possessed of knowledge (7:111-2)

...and they produced a mighty enchantment. (7:116)

These magicians were the most skilled, the most learned in the entire kingdom. They were posessed of knowledge to the mastery of their art. And suddenly, it hit me. This is how they were able to submit so fully, so devotedly, upon witnessing the miracle of Moses (as).

These men were at a state of knowledge in their art, and in the laws of nature and what was possible within them, that gave them immediate certainty (yaqeen) in the matter. Their expertise made them immediately certain that what Moses (as) had brought was from a Higher power, and not just a parlour trick. After all, the entire court witnessed this miracle, did it not? Yet at this stage from those actively opposing the message, only the magicians submitted.

And the enchanters were thrown down, prostrating (themselves). They said: We believe in the Lord of the worlds, The Lord of Musa and Haroun. (7:120-2)

And what a submission. As soon as the snake had swallowed their staffs, in the open; in front of a tyrant who believed he himself was God (nauthubillah); in spite of the promises of worldly riches and a high position at court, they declared their belief. Their knowledge gave them the means to submit at the earliest opportunity; understanding the benefit in this course over worldly gain.

They did not believe that Moses (as) was a god and start worshipping him - despite the fact they had been treating Pharaoh as a god, and Moses (as) had not yet been given a chance to preach his message fully - they understood this was beyond human power. Their knowledge gave them a firm intellectual footing in faith, and allowed them to draw solid conclusions on witnessing the miracle.

And when Pharaoh threatened them with the worst torture, being crucified and having their limbs severed, what did they say?

They said: Surely to our Lord shall we go back:

And you do not take revenge on us except because we have believed in the communications of our Lord when they came to us! Our Lord: Pour out upon us patience and cause us to die in submission. (7:125-6)

The truth of the situation was clear to them. They believed in God and would turn back to Him; relying upon their Lord, the posessor of Might and Power above all human capabilities. They knew Pharaoh had no just cause for contesting the faith, and was acting like a spoilt child out of arrogance and egotism. They knew that what Pharaoh threatened was difficult for them but that God was Greatest, so they prayed to Him for patience and to accept their submission.

Upon witnessing this one act relating to their knowledge, they had certainty in faith that could not be shaken by any worldly promise or threat.

This is what knowledge does for submission, as long as you are sincere.


* * *

"There are three kinds of people. The scholars, the seekers of knowledge and all the others are a waste of humanity"
-- Imam Jafar as Sadiq (as), according to hadeeth


(c) Feb 2007

Thursday 8 February 2007

strange

I found this at the back of one of my notebooks. I'd completely forgotten I'd ever written it.

* * *

strange how you don't see what is before you
in it's own light, until truth overwhelms
and that first assumption carried through
is blown away like dry husks, leaving the seed
it is a laddered lesson that must be learnt
not to judge things as they first seem.

* * *
(c) first & final version, summer 2006

Tuesday 6 February 2007

dream ~~ mashhad

where the days stretch out, expanse in green and gold
& skies melt in illumined heights & azure walls
for the hallowed halls bedecked in glistening cut
in crowds but grace which sweeps and curves to core
a golden cage marks one the heart beats for

how love strains forth in reach & in like is met
no dream so sweet imagined if not once felt
and blooms the silent pledge made whole in earnest hope
so sadly part... but only til bond, stretched, pulls close once more.

(c) final version May 2006

green

for bery, wherever you are now.

for those of you who don't know who bery is (and that would probably be all of you), I met him a long time ago, and spoke to him only handful of times. I still remember him for what I saw of his character in those few words, and his spirit as a Seeker of Truth. This poem would be an account of the first time we met.

For those of you now getting worried (and again, that would probably be all of you -- not least bery if he were to read this), don't. As he once told me, "I am not your long-lost brother". And of course, he is not. He was just someone a few ladders across from me and higher up, who -- by the grace of God -- was there to call down some words of wisdom that helped me, when i'd just got hold of the first few rungs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Idly passing the time
your words caught my attention
and through, revealed at once
an effortless brilliance
and gentle grace

the minds eye overpowered my vision, &
i saw my path between jagged
red stone mountains in midmorning sun
climbing past rocky veils
for the final turn
and push over and up

to suddenly stand before the rising horizon
& see full to the ground

and be knocked breathless
by the sight

of rolling green, forrested hills
a secret valley... thick with trees,
enshrouded in mists,
leaves rustling, birds singing,
in every contrast to the red dust all around

pulsing and humming with
Life

overwhelmed by its beauty, i sat,
dumbfounded,
staring silently at the screen.


(c) from an event much earlier, put to words Sep 2006

Monday 5 February 2007

bookshelf

i look over at them and wonder.
The paper veils painting sun and mountains
hiding deepest oceans of blue, near luminous
yet unfathomable quickly fading into mists and swirls
the truer form of what is known
only recognised as a distant memory...

they seem dead, but
between the lines realities merge,
past and present
life and death,
opening windows onto
winged, sunlit clarity
& deep saturating peace

not of them, but
through them i find you all
i hear your words to me,
i feel the rain again
strike my barren pastures
& once more
feel the gently smiling sun upon my face

...

the lightning-flash fades,
and again all is dark

i lie in my paper coffin
with eyes shut
as you live around me,
between the folds and turns
of what is enscribed on my shroud.


(c) final revision 2005

On life

worth a thousand words... painted by surat al baqarah



true story...

my father knows a doctor who used to live in iraq. the doctors family were once in favour with saddam & worked for him,until by chance one of his cousins was standing amongst a group of men who had earnt saddams anger, & was sentenced to execution with them. from then on, the entire family was blacklisted - every quarter a questionnaire was sent out by the iraqi government on which this execution had to be declared. in bold at the foot of the document was the warning that lying about such things was an act of treason, which is punishable by death. slowly, the doctor's family were picked off one by one, until he decided to flee the country with his wife and four young daughters, in a night, leaving behind everything they owned. travel was prohibited to blacklisted people, especially doctors, but against all the odds they made it out alive & settled in the UK.

back then, iraqi nationals living abroad were given free tickets to visit iraq. a few months passed, and the doctors wife became very homesick. she begged her husband to return, if only for a week or two to see her family, but he flatly refused, knowing that he wouldnt make it out again. he told her that she could go, but that if she was detained he would not come back for her. she agreed to this, and took the children to iraq for two weeks. of course at the visa office her return was postponed once they realised who she was. the government used her to get information about her husband, then called him, threatening, bribing & taunting him as a coward to try to get him to come back. he couldnt, as he knew what it would mean for both him and his family. so he changed his name and identity, forgot all traces of his language and origin & went into hiding, never daring once to contact his wife or daughters. its now 12 years since then.

that was saddam.


one day by chance at an international convention his group met a canadian physician. the doctor's friends got talking to him & let slip that the doctor was iraqi in origin, despite the english name. the canadian was married to an iraqi girl himself, so asked for more details like the family name. he was a little surprised when he heard it was the same as that of his wife... he reasoned perhaps the doctor was a distant relative of hers. it turns out the doctor was her father. they soon realised & the canadian son-in-law told the doctor as much as he could about his family... that his eldest daughter was married to him & living in canada, with children; that his second child was living a few hours away in manchester, also married & with twin 3-year old boys; and his third and fourth daughters were engaged to be married & still in iraq. the doctor called his wife, who couldnt believe he was still alive, and apologised and swore she didnt believe they would hold her back like this. he spoke to his children, & went to visit his daughter & grandchildren in manchester. after being completely cut off from his family for over a decade the doctor had found a small tribe of relatives. He visits his closest daughter & her family regularly & is starting to re-learn arabic.


that is Allah.

* * *

final revision, August 2004 (c)

Sunday 4 February 2007

To Ahmed Andrew Verdal Lyngset

and other people I spoke to once and never again...

hi.



* * *
Ahmad: the most praiseworthy of those who praise Allah.

This is the celestial name of the Prophet (peace of Allah and blessings be upon him) of Allah, the Ever-Existing, the All-Powerful, 360,000 years before He created the creation, created from His divine Light a sacred light. That light upon light praised Allah before and during the creation of the heaven and the heavenly and the earth and the earthly. The inhabitants of the heavens named that light Ahmad. As his praise of Allah is greater than the praise of all that is created, he is called ahmad-al-hamideen – the greatest of all givers of praise.

Ahmad is the name by which the prophet of Allah (pbuh) is mentioned in the Gospel.

‘And when Jesus, son of Mary said, “O children of Israel, surely I am the messenger of Allah to you, verifying that which is before me of the Torah and giving good news of a messenger who will come after me, his name being Ahmad.”
(Surah Saff, 6)

In the Bible, Jesus (may Allah bless him) says:

‘I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now. Howbeit when he, the Spirit of Truth, is come, he will guide you unto all truth, for he shall not speak of himself, but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak; and he will show you things to come. He shall glorify me.

(John 14:17)

The Spirit of Truth who speaks but Allah’s words is Ahmad.






good choice.

no love lost...

~~~ A LETTER ...

[1] I was strong and more beautiful than you when your eye fell upon me. was it out of your jealousy, i wonder, that you kept silent as you saw the start of my disease, secretly pleased that all i had that you didn't (a) would slowly be lost? i dont know. but you saw it, clear as day, right from the start when even at times i myself may have been deluded about its nature.

[2] as time passed by, my health worsened. signs of decay about me were now evident, the lingering stench hanging in the air belying what seemed good. the influence of the core of my disease was showing - my strength and beauty (b) had deserted me, with all that was healthy starving as the cancer gorged, and fed, and grew. you saw all this, anyone with eyes could see it.

and, donning your black mask and raising your axe high, you cut off my supply of medicine, my food, my air (c); feeding me instead poisons you would slip into my water with your left hand when you thought no one was looking (d), until all that was good in me had withered and weakened, and all that was corrupted and decayed had engulfed me, taking whatever there was for its own needs (e).

[3] for 30 years you let me like this, living but not living, weakening with each day as the disease grew stronger. the cancer had invaded almost every part of me; my limbs, eyes, ears, even my brain... all, except for my beating heart which still pounded laboriously pounded, all but crushed under the weight pressed upon it (f). perhaps you saw this, and knew. under the decay, the same heart was still beating. it held the secret of who i had been, and was agonised at what i had become. it knew, as you did. but you turned your eye (g) away from me, from my pitiful, oppressed state, as you appeared to rearrange yourself upon the throne you had fashioned, amusing yourself with your own gain and power.

to the world you seemed oblivious, but you were anything but. you knew exactly what was happening, and my despair suited you right down to the ground you trod upon.

[4] so when your games came back to bite you, the veil fell from your grasp, revealling what lay beneath. you couldnt risk anyone knowing your weakness, especially not at the hands of someone you deemed so far beneath you (h). lives were lost, but it was the insult that boiled your blood. they dared to attack you. of course, you levelled their home for it, regardless of the fact that the culprits were long gone, and closed your iron grip over those that remained (i). making an example of them didnt lessen the burn of the insult though, did it. I know. I know you better than you think.

[5] so, now donning a white coat and stethoscope, you set after me. as a mercy, you told the world. i was suffering, and might hurt someone, you said. with your elaborately woven lies, who did you think you were fooling? you chased me out of a paranoid fear that the disease that had so ravaged me could somehow extend its reach over the earth and sky to irritate you.

Rubbish. and you knew it. but it was an excuse, and through the hysteria you thought you could convince enough to make it seem justified. you did convince some, but not all. even your own heart (j) was against you in this. but everyone knows, the heart can be silenced when the mind so wishes (k).

so you came after the core of my original cancer, and cut it out with a rusty hacksaw with no anaesthetic. you had to get your hands dirty. and instead of gushing praise from me, all that was left of me reviled at your touch. made you mad, didn't it.

[6] i wont deny it, i was glad when the old cancer was finally gone. it had been a thousand years since i was last able to breathe. but cancer, by its nature, spreads. ask any doctor, cancer takes over healthy tissue making it cancerous too. it forms secondary and tertiary tumours all over the body. with 30 years to grow, you knew very well that removing the core wouldnt cure the disease. so when you were done patting yourself on the back for your surgery-well-done, you announced to the world that i was too ill to look after myself, and that you, the merciful & kind (l), would move into my house and look after me.

after all you have done and not done, you come to me with a plastic olive-branch and the devils grin on your face telling me you will nurse me to health. Do you expect me to thank you??

while i lie here, trying to recover and gather my thoughts, you change my house to suit yourself, you eat my food and wear my clothes (m)... you leave me confined in a room with no windows or door, visiting only to mouth meaningless pleasantries and more empty promises for the eyes of the world.

perhaps you think that you can keep me like this, or mould me to your own image while i am in this susceptible state.

there is one thing you have forgotten.

my heart.
it beats still. and as long as it beats, you will never be able to rule me.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... TO AMERICA, FROM IRAQ ~~~

(a) oil, wealth and stuff
(b) the 'brain drain'& masacres of opposing scholars etc
(c) sanctions, oil for food (slimy gits)
(d) back door arms sales
(e) saddam had warehouses full of medicines that would expire without use while people didnt have so much as an aspirin. he ate deer fed with cardomom & cinnamon while the people starved in the street.
(f) the real iraq, the believers.
(g) who has one eye? think about it.
(h) generally anyone not from the west, specifically in this context those taliban morons. i dont like them or what they did either; but i wanna talk about the retaliation.
(i) afghanistan
(j) same imagery as in (f). the believers, the good people. of course there ARE good people in america, but the deeds and words of the evil ones engulf & control almost all of what comes from there towards the world.
(k) by mind i mean what controls the limbs & brings about action. the government.
(l) sarcasm.
(m) about 2 days after baghdad fell, america announced multi-billion dollar deals made to aid the 'reconstruction' of iraq. and of course, the oil.
* * *
(c) final revision on Feb 2004

hello there

this, you could say, is a glimpse into my journal

or it would be if i had one. In theory, all of the stuff i'm putting up will be thoughts-on-paper (or screen) from the past few years... but you can never tell exactly where something will end up before you start it. one thing i can definitely say,

everything here is by me (copyright and all that applies, you've been warned), and is straight from the heart -- a genuine reflection of what i was once feeling.

as i've said before, here goes nothing.... in no particular order