~~~ A LETTER ...
[1] I was strong and more beautiful than you when your eye fell upon me. was it out of your jealousy, i wonder, that you kept silent as you saw the start of my disease, secretly pleased that all i had that you didn't
(a) would slowly be lost? i dont know. but you saw it, clear as day, right from the start when even at times i myself may have been deluded about its nature.
[2] as time passed by, my health worsened. signs of decay about me were now evident, the lingering stench hanging in the air belying what seemed good. the influence of the core of my disease was showing - my strength and beauty
(b) had deserted me, with all that was healthy starving as the cancer gorged, and fed, and grew. you saw all this, anyone with eyes could see it.
and, donning your black mask and raising your axe high, you cut off my supply of medicine, my food, my air
(c); feeding me instead poisons you would slip into my water with your left hand when you thought no one was looking
(d), until all that was good in me had withered and weakened, and all that was corrupted and decayed had engulfed me, taking whatever there was for its own needs
(e).[3] for 30 years you let me like this, living but not living, weakening with each day as the disease grew stronger. the cancer had invaded almost every part of me; my limbs, eyes, ears, even my brain... all, except for my beating heart which still pounded laboriously pounded, all but crushed under the weight pressed upon it
(f). perhaps you saw this, and knew. under the decay, the same heart was still beating. it held the secret of who i had been, and was agonised at what i had become. it knew, as you did. but you turned your eye
(g) away from me, from my pitiful, oppressed state, as you appeared to rearrange yourself upon the throne you had fashioned, amusing yourself with your own gain and power.
to the world you seemed oblivious, but you were anything but. you knew exactly what was happening, and my despair suited you right down to the ground you trod upon.[4] so when your games came back to bite you, the veil fell from your grasp, revealling what lay beneath. you couldnt risk anyone knowing your weakness, especially not at the hands of someone you deemed so far beneath you
(h). lives were lost, but it was the insult that boiled your blood. they dared to attack you. of course, you levelled their home for it, regardless of the fact that the culprits were long gone, and closed your iron grip over those that remained
(i). making an example of them didnt lessen the burn of the insult though, did it. I know. I know you better than you think.
[5] so, now donning a white coat and stethoscope, you set after me. as a mercy, you told the world. i was suffering, and might hurt someone, you said. with your elaborately woven lies, who did you think you were fooling? you chased me out of a paranoid fear that the disease that had so ravaged me could somehow extend its reach over the earth and sky to irritate you.
Rubbish. and you knew it. but it was an excuse, and through the hysteria you thought you could convince enough to make it seem justified. you did convince some, but not all. even your own heart
(j) was against you in this. but everyone knows, the heart can be silenced when the mind so wishes
(k).so you came after the core of my original cancer, and cut it out with a rusty hacksaw with no anaesthetic. you had to get your hands dirty.
and instead of gushing praise from me, all that was left of me reviled at your touch. made you mad, didn't it.[6] i wont deny it, i was glad when the old cancer was finally gone. it had been a thousand years since i was last able to breathe. but cancer, by its nature, spreads. ask any doctor, cancer takes over healthy tissue making it cancerous too. it forms secondary and tertiary tumours all over the body. with 30 years to grow, you knew very well that removing the core wouldnt cure the disease. so when you were done patting yourself on the back for your surgery-well-done, you announced to the world that i was too ill to look after myself, and that you, the merciful & kind
(l), would move into my house and look after me.
after all you have done and not done, you come to me with a plastic olive-branch and the devils grin on your face telling me you will nurse me to health.
Do you expect me to thank you??while i lie here, trying to recover and gather my thoughts, you change my house to suit yourself, you eat my food and wear my clothes (m)... you leave me confined in a room with no windows or door, visiting only to mouth meaningless pleasantries and more empty promises for the eyes of the world.perhaps you think that you can keep me like this, or mould me to your own image while i am in this susceptible state.
there is one thing you have forgotten.
my heart.
it beats still. and as long as it beats,
you will never be able to rule me.
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... TO AMERICA, FROM IRAQ ~~~
(a) oil, wealth and stuff
(b) the 'brain drain'& masacres of opposing scholars etc
(c) sanctions, oil for food (slimy gits)
(d) back door arms sales
(e) saddam had warehouses full of medicines that would expire without use while people didnt have so much as an aspirin. he ate deer fed with cardomom & cinnamon while the people starved in the street.
(f) the real iraq, the believers.
(g) who has one eye? think about it.
(h) generally anyone not from the west, specifically in this context those taliban morons. i dont like them or what they did either; but i wanna talk about the retaliation.
(i) afghanistan
(j) same imagery as in (f). the believers, the good people. of course there ARE good people in america, but the deeds and words of the evil ones engulf & control almost all of what comes from there towards the world.
(k) by mind i mean what controls the limbs & brings about action. the government.
(l) sarcasm.
(m) about 2 days after baghdad fell, america announced multi-billion dollar deals made to aid the 'reconstruction' of iraq. and of course, the oil.
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(c) final revision on Feb 2004
