"و لكن لا يوم مثل يومك ... يا ابا عبد الله ..."

40 days on

From the time of his birth or before
they knew his final fate
& carried its immense burden in their breasts
each time they saw him smile
or stumble on toddler's unsteady feet and begin to cry

How their hearts must have ached
at the pressure of this crushing, silent weight
overshadowing each sunny day as he was raised
knowing, each time they ran to protect him
they could not protect him at the hardest time to come

"My dear one", they must have said
"You have a status with Allah you will not attain
except through martyrdom"
& steeled & groomed him as best they could,
then one by one left their baby, & with him their hearts

They watched history unfold on burning sands, with baited breath
in floods of tears & heavy grief, but immense, immense pride
as he fulfilled his destiny, alone
& returned softly to their welcoming arms,
to take his promised place.

* * *



* * *

the Arba'een
Feb '08

"There is nothing more certain than...

... Death."



~~ Rest in peace, sister Aaliyah.

* * *

footprint //duas
Feb '08

Demons

to start the journey I must pull away from all which pulls me back... back into myself, retreating to the safe comfort where the scratches can't hurt. To run away I must pull free of the tangle of chains, which has only bound me because I let it. It is time to own and overpower it, instead of it owning me.

the sweet silent words still ring in my ear...

* * *

Again when the tide is at its lowest & the night moonless, pitch black, the mercies of Allah find me, through His rope extending from the heavens.

* * *

" They said: Are you indeed Yusuf?

He said: I am Yusuf
and this is my brother;
Allah has indeed been gracious to us..."

Holy Quran, 12:90

Yusuf, who had no less than half of all existing beauty.

Beauty has many forms: immediately the many petals of the story begin to unfold.

He had beauty of character; in his life he had been subjected to a great deal of suffering, pain & hardship at the hands of his family - the ones who were supposed to protect, shelter & support him - who instead inflicted the worst blows and betrayal; and yet he grew not bitter & resentful of them.
He had been left destitute, & his trust in Allah was a beauty.
His loyalty, obedience and gratitude to the Aziz was a beauty; his chastity and abstinence in the face of great temptation was a beauty.
His courage and patience in prison was a beauty, his piety in preferring a jail cell to the temptation of sin was beauty.
His humility was a beauty,
his justice and equity in meting out the grain was beauty,
his wisdom & good counsel for the king was beauty --

-- all types of beauty of spirit and form were manifested in him,
and for his efforts in that, Allah arranged his affair.

The beauty of Yusuf (as) culminates in this verse -- his reunion with his brothers, & the highest flower of perfection of his divine beauty --

his forgiveness of them, for all they had done.

Nabi Yusuf (as) was unlike many prophets in his situation - but is much more like us all through it - and so is a guiding beacon & radiant example of the way we should try to live our lives.

The verse closes with his longed-for happy ending, & the words --

"...surely he who guards (against evil) and is patient (is rewarded)
for surely Allah does not waste the reward of those who do good."


* * *
.
.

overcome
your
demons::

Forgive.

.
.

(c) Jan '08