Ego by Example... the true & ugly nature part II

Ego personified

There are two main examples of supremely egotistical people in the Quran, in the form of some of the most evil characters in history.

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Iblees is the first. He refused to obey Allah out of arrogance: “(Iblis) said: "I am better than he: thou createdst me from fire, and him thou createdst from clay."” (38:76). He did not apologise or repent when Allah expelled him from the garden. He did not ask forgiveness like Adam and Eve, but instead asked for respite until the day of Judgement so that he could lead men astray out of even more spite (7:14-16; 15:36-40). He is the epitome of arrogance and blind pride, refusing to back down even when he suffers the greatest loss through his stance, never once repenting from the beginning of mankind's history until this day, even though he had been warned of the punishment for disobedience (7:18). In true self-absorbed fashion, he refuses to acknowledge his own accountability for his devious acts, in his arrogance even accusing Allah of leading him astray.

“He said: My Lord! Because Thou hast sent me astray...” (15:39)

Becoming self-focussed and behaving in an arrogant and selfish fashion is to behave like Iblees, and behaving as he would wish mankind to. It is tantamount to worship of Satan.

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“"Did I not enjoin on you, O ye Children of Adam, that ye should not worship Satan; for that he was to you an enemy avowed? - and that ye should worship Me, (for that) this was the Straight Way?” (36:60-61)

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The second is the Pharaoh of Moses (as). He was the most egotistical and arrogant man, claiming he was god, refusing to accept the truth despite the clear miracles brought by Moses – the staff, his hand, the 7 plagues and parting of the sea; “And they said( to Moses): Whatever sign you may bring to us to charm us with it-- we will not believe in you” (7:132). Despite the truth clearly appearing before him, he turned his face from it and insisted upon falsehood. When Moses first brought the miracle of the staff, he refused to accept it and sent for the most learned magicians in his kingdom. When the magicians saw the miracle of Moses and immediately knew the truth of his message and submitted to it, Pharaoh not only refused to do the same, but threatened the magicians with torture and death (7:123-4). He stubbornly denied and rejected all but his own preferred version of reality, reverting to his unbelief despite having to ask Moses to pray to God to lift the plagues (7:134-5).

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“Then he (Pharaoh) said, “I am your lord, the most high”. So Allah seized him with the punishment of the hereafter and the former life.” (79:24-5)

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Ego in Reactions

It is not necessarily the case that a person is always egotistical, nor always considerate and selfless. Through various times of a person's life they may adopt either approach, and one should not think that they are completely free of egotistical behaviour simply because most of the time they behave considerately. By the same token, one should not consider a person completely egotistical and self-centered based on their behaviour at any given time. It may be that the usually caring and attentive mother snaps at her child because she was interrupted in the middle of a dangerous task.

In times of difficulty or distraction the ego is more likely to take over and cause bad behaviour, for example when stressed, worried, in physical or emotional pain, concentrating on a difficult task or rushing to meet a deadline. In these cases, albeit temporarily, our attention is greatly diverted to the matter at hand, and can result in inconsiderate or bad behaviour to those around us. We should understand, even when so preoccupied, that others still deserve respect and consideration regardless of the situation we find ourselves in.

Ego may also take over when we are faced with what we see as undeserved obnoxious or unfair treatment from another person. In times like this the most common reflex reaction is to meet like with like, and reflect a bad attitude back to the person who has offended us. This may take the form of accusations or abuse, refusing to acknowledge our bad deeds, refusal to apologise, behaving more stubbornly than usual, refusing to compromise or discuss the matter – all severely egotistical behaviour, employed simply because this is the standard set by the other party. Although we have not initiated the conflict in this case, we should not see our behaviour as justified: a person may have infringed upon our right to be treated with fairness and dignity, but it is equally an infringement of their rights for us not to behave so towards them. Reacting badly in an instant destroys the channels of communication and apology, whereas a little consideration of the possible reasons for the bad behaviour of the other party could lead to dialogue and resolution of the conflict, with the dignity of all intact. When faced with kindness or humility in the face of their bad behaviour, people who are usually considerate but facing some form of difficulty would most likely be prompted to examine their behaviour, apologise and rectify it; thereby restoring respectful societal relations.

Ego on the part of both someone suffering and someone ill-treated by one who is suffering, damages their relationships with each other, closes the channels of communication, ends friendships, promotes malice and lack of understanding; ultimately causing rifts between people and thereby degrading the fabric of the community.

The adoption of egotism destroys faith, familial and societal relations, denies rights and humiliates mankind as a whole.

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to remember -- watch that ego
you are not free of it
May '08.

The true and ugly nature of Ego

Most major sins and conflicts which may appear in daily life are rooted in the ego, and based upon the fact that man is inwardly focussed and deeply absorbed in himself, at the expense of his appreciation of the outer realities and outside world.

In relations with God, particularly prayer, being self-focussed self-aware results in man being absorbed in his own thoughts and not paying attention to his words and acts. There is no communion with God in such prayers, as man has turned his attention inwards and made his own ego the focus of the time spent in the actions of worship. Those self focussed will be automatically inclined to please themselves in any given situation. For such people there is no pressing deterrent to committing sin if the immediate gains of the act are pleasing; as they have lost sight of God and do not act to please Him. The self-absorbed may dwell in a state of delusion about their sins, redefining what is good and evil according to their self-limited awareness and understanding, and begin to commit even great sins openly and without shame or realising how they are humiliating themselves. They may try to argue their stance to others as a form of self-justification, using superficial and subjective reasoning.

In the extreme, the self-absorbed person may commit terrible sins against God and his own soul openly, without shame, repentance or acknowledging his wrong.

Man in this state has taken his lower self as an idol before God, in a state diametrically opposed to the religious ideal of servitude and worship; humility and being God-focussed and God-aware.

In relations with others, the self-focussed person will be oblivious to the state of those around him. He will inconvenience or spite them unintentionally, as it is outside his nature to consider their needs or situation. He will dismiss the impact of tragedies in the lives of others; being unable to see himself in their position and so understand their suffering. However, he will be quick to take exception at small things others may do (intentionally or not so) which he feels are burdensome or offensive to him. He will be oblivious to his own deeds which may affect others similarly, and will likely become offended or start acting with hostility if confronted over his actions – in which he perceives no wrong. Due to this mental state, self-focussed people will seldom see their own mistakes in a conflict situation. They will consider themselves victims, will never apologise nor initiate reconciliation, and will only accept the apology of the other party after long persuasion in which those apologising party cannot in any way defend their past actions. The self-focussed person will cause a great deal of emotional pain and difficulties for their loved ones often without realising, straining familial relationships perhaps even to breaking point.

In the extreme, the self-absorbed person may commit terrible crimes and injustices against other people or society in general, without hesitation, regret or acknowledging his wrong.

Man in this state has taken himself as a king above all others. He decides his comfort, happiness and pleasure are much more real and worthy of consideration than that of others, which he cannot appreciate and so dismisses. Such behaviour, even if not intentional or based on malice, destroys the foundation of societal structure and the larger religious ideal of a harmonious and moralistic community, through removing the mutual consideration members of society must have for each other for its basic function.

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learnt the hard way -- from experience
May '08