"و لكن لا يوم مثل يومك ... يا ابا عبد الله ..."

40 days on

From the time of his birth or before
they knew his final fate
& carried its immense burden in their breasts
each time they saw him smile
or stumble on toddler's unsteady feet and begin to cry

How their hearts must have ached
at the pressure of this crushing, silent weight
overshadowing each sunny day as he was raised
knowing, each time they ran to protect him
they could not protect him at the hardest time to come

"My dear one", they must have said
"You have a status with Allah you will not attain
except through martyrdom"
& steeled & groomed him as best they could,
then one by one left their baby, & with him their hearts

They watched history unfold on burning sands, with baited breath
in floods of tears & heavy grief, but immense, immense pride
as he fulfilled his destiny, alone
& returned softly to their welcoming arms,
to take his promised place.

* * *



* * *

the Arba'een
Feb '08

"There is nothing more certain than...

... Death."



~~ Rest in peace, sister Aaliyah.

* * *

footprint //duas
Feb '08

Demons

to start the journey I must pull away from all which pulls me back... back into myself, retreating to the safe comfort where the scratches can't hurt. To run away I must pull free of the tangle of chains, which has only bound me because I let it. It is time to own and overpower it, instead of it owning me.

the sweet silent words still ring in my ear...

* * *

Again when the tide is at its lowest & the night moonless, pitch black, the mercies of Allah find me, through His rope extending from the heavens.

* * *

" They said: Are you indeed Yusuf?

He said: I am Yusuf
and this is my brother;
Allah has indeed been gracious to us..."

Holy Quran, 12:90

Yusuf, who had no less than half of all existing beauty.

Beauty has many forms: immediately the many petals of the story begin to unfold.

He had beauty of character; in his life he had been subjected to a great deal of suffering, pain & hardship at the hands of his family - the ones who were supposed to protect, shelter & support him - who instead inflicted the worst blows and betrayal; and yet he grew not bitter & resentful of them.
He had been left destitute, & his trust in Allah was a beauty.
His loyalty, obedience and gratitude to the Aziz was a beauty; his chastity and abstinence in the face of great temptation was a beauty.
His courage and patience in prison was a beauty, his piety in preferring a jail cell to the temptation of sin was beauty.
His humility was a beauty,
his justice and equity in meting out the grain was beauty,
his wisdom & good counsel for the king was beauty --

-- all types of beauty of spirit and form were manifested in him,
and for his efforts in that, Allah arranged his affair.

The beauty of Yusuf (as) culminates in this verse -- his reunion with his brothers, & the highest flower of perfection of his divine beauty --

his forgiveness of them, for all they had done.

Nabi Yusuf (as) was unlike many prophets in his situation - but is much more like us all through it - and so is a guiding beacon & radiant example of the way we should try to live our lives.

The verse closes with his longed-for happy ending, & the words --

"...surely he who guards (against evil) and is patient (is rewarded)
for surely Allah does not waste the reward of those who do good."


* * *
.
.

overcome
your
demons::

Forgive.

.
.

(c) Jan '08

the problem with my perception

For the longest time, I had considered reality to be grounded in the sense-perceived, material universe; and what is beyond that to be some deeper reality, albeit closer to truth.

The problem I had with that was in finding the motivation to pull away from what was still a reality, to move to the next.

What is actually the case, is this base state grounded in sensory perception of the material

is not reality.

it is not real. it is illusory, fleeting, wildly inaccurate or at best incomplete.

The journey is actually from the state of delusion, to the only thing that is real.

who in their right mind would be happy within a permanent dream state, no matter how good?

you should remember the illusion, when faced with the pull.


self-deception
is never welcome
with one who seeks Truth


By staring at the red light, becoming engrossed in its colour and form you lose sight of what it signifies - the impending danger, which should occupy your attention instead.

The danger is what is real - the red light, neither here nor there.

* * *

with thanks to
Light Within Me

beginnings:: muddled

what is this life
that i cling to
what meaning does it have,
comfortable as it is?

when all is said and done, what will remain
of this pulling, warm, oblivious stupour...
drunk on life, foggy-headed
I fight within myself

alice calls desperately "wake up!"
against the sweet soothing lul
torn between the choices, my weak resolve scatters
lost, muddled, I sit,
not knowing down from up.

* * *

FAITH

what is the purpose of faith
faith is just to believe
in what is there
what is there irrespective of belief

faith is to know
what reality is
but what would you do with that knowledge?

to learn for its own sake splutters and stalls
in the face of drawn-out journeying
it is not motivation enough

so
what is motivation
what is the reason
to improve & learn?


the world is reasonless
except for
the all-penetrating, endless
breath of the divine which holds it
and gives it shape


if you search
it should only be
for this breath


if you search
it will only be
for your own sake


what is around you?

better understand it to know
what it is worth pursuing
knowledge of.



He
loves

YOU

How to Strengthen your Iman

Ayatullah Ja'far Subhani, Imam of the Friday Prayers at the Sayeda Masuma haram in Qum, was asked how young people in the west might go about increasing their iman.

His answer was simple. He told us:

There are three things you should do.

1. Pray at the very first time of the prescribed time for prayers


2. Read at least a quarter of a Juz' of Quran every day


3. Carry a notepad with you wherever you go, and record your bad deeds throughout the day. At the end of the day review what you have written, and ask forgiveness for the sins you have committed.

* * *

The Start of Faith: Establishing your beliefs beyond any doubt
The way to progress
Seeking knowledge of God, above and beyond any other form of knowledge

* * *

Nahjul Balaghah sermon 1: what is it to Deny God Attributes?
To Deny Him Attributes II
To Deny Him Attributes III

* * *

Ideas from the book "Man & Destiny":: Virtual
Virtual II
Virtual III
Virtual IV

* * *

Qum, Iran
August 2006