to the only believer in the world...

... and all who have ever felt, "it is I"

these words are all dedicated to you

they have always been.

These pages are here in the hope that one day,
should you need it,
you might look at them
and see

you are not so alone.

* * *

Satan likes to make us feel we are completely alone and outnumbered. He likes to have us think we are engaged in an impossible struggle, and there is nobody else on the face of the earth who sees it, who knows what we're going through, nobody who is fighting for the same goal. This is the biggest lie. There are hundreds of others, all around us, unknown to us, feeling the same way; struggling alone. This is the secret face of ourselves we do not show to the outside world, all of us. Satan makes us feel there is nobody who would understand, nobody we can open up to who would not stare blankly or dismiss what we say. Another lie. It is quite likely we know someone else who feels like us, especially those who have traveled with us, shared great experiences, or thinks along the same lines. If you know another, keep in contact and support each other. If you do not, know that there are hundreds just like you, all over the face of the earth, in its hills and plains, in the easts and wests, lands and seas, all of you struggling towards the same goal. By the verse 3:68 and the chapter Al Kawthar, the earth is full of true followers of Muhammad (saw).

* * *

"O Allah send our master the leader, the guide, the guided, the upriser with Your command. Blessings of Allah be on him and his pure forefathers from all the believing men and believing women. In the easts of the earth and it's wests, in its plains and its mountains, its lands and its seas, from me and my parents. Blessings,which are the weight of Allah's throne and ink of His words, and whatever His knowledge enumerates and His book encompases."-- Dua Ahd

* * *

Nov '08

waswasah

otherwise known as, the Macbeth effect

* * *

(07:40:58 PM) blissful: have u read Macbeth?
(07:41:18 PM) blissful: all the witches do at the start is put a wild idea into his head (...“you could be king”...)
(07:41:22 PM) blissful: and thats it
(07:41:33 PM) blissful: he takes it, and the rest follows
(07:41:40 PM) blissful: this is just like Satan's work, how he traps us
(07:41:48 PM) blissful: it is his suggestion
(07:41:55 PM) blissful: and our ego which accepts it, and acts upon it
(07:42:13 PM) blissful: and thats all it takes to make a nobleman with wife and loyal battle hero
(07:42:27 PM) blissful: into a treacherous murdering animal
(07:42:47 PM) blissful: on his own at the end
(07:43:07 PM) blissful: if he'd just ignored them there would have been nothin -he would have been happy, as he was at first

(07:43:12 PM) blissful: u see what I'm sayin?

* * *

conversations

Ego revisited

Most major sins and conflicts which may appear in daily life are rooted in the ego, and based upon the fact that man is inwardly focussed and deeply absorbed in himself, at the expense of his appreciation of the outer realities and outside world.

In relations with God, particularly prayer, being self-focussed self-aware results in man being absorbed in his own thoughts and not paying attention to his words and acts. There is no communion with God in such prayers, as man has turned his attention inwards and made his own ego the focus of the time spent in the actions of worship. Those self focussed will be automatically inclined to please themselves in any given situation. For such people there is no pressing deterrent to committing sin if the immediate gains of the act are pleasing; as they have lost sight of God and do not act to please Him. The self-absorbed may dwell in a state of delusion about their sins, redefining what is good and evil according to their self-limited awareness and understanding, and begin to commit even great sins openly and without shame or realising how they are humiliating themselves. They may try to argue their stance to others as a form of self-justification, using superficial and subjective reasoning.

In the extreme, the self-absorbed person may commit terrible sins against God and his own soul openly, without shame, repentance or acknowledging his wrong.

Man in this state has taken his lower self as an idol before God, in a state diametrically opposed to the religious ideal of servitude and worship; humility and being God-focussed and God-aware.

This paragraph is a proof upon every soul, for the mirror it holds up for us. Who amongst us is free of this -- when on the other side are only
the 14 and His, who gave their selves up
for His sake

* * *

See yourself in it
Know Yourself
the Potential,
the reality.
. . .

Know Your Enemy

* * *

And the Shaitan shall say after the affair is decided: Surely Allah promised you the promise of truth, and I gave you promises, then failed to keep them to you, and I had no authority over you, except that I called you and you obeyed me, therefore do not blame me but blame yourselves: I cannot be your aider (now) nor can you be my aiders; surely I disbelieved in your associating me with Allah before; surely it is the unjust that shall have the painful punishment.

Holy Quran, 14:22

* * *

(1) And when your Lord said to the angels: Surely I am going to create a mortal of the essence of black mud fashioned in shape.
So when I have made him complete and breathed into him of My spirit, fall down making obeisance to him.
So the angels made obeisance, all of them together,
(2) But Iblis (did it not); he refused to be with those who made obeisance.

He said: O Iblis! what excuse have you that you are not with those who make obeisance?


(3) He said: I am not such that I should make obeisance to a mortal whom Thou hast created of the essence of black mud fashioned in shape.


He said: Then get out of it, for surely you are driven away:
(4) And surely on you is curse until the day of judgment.


(5) He said: My Lord! then respite me till the time when they are raised.


He said: So surely you are of the respited ones
Till the period of the time made known.


(6) He said: My Lord! because Thou hast made life evil to me, I will certainly make (evil) fair-seeming to them on earth, and I will certainly cause them all to deviate
(7) Except Thy servants from among them, the devoted ones.


(8) He said: This is a right way with Me:
Surely. as regards My servants, you have no authority over them except those who follow you of the deviators.


And surely Hell is the promised place of them all:
It has seven gates; for every gate there shall be a separate party of them.
Surely those who guard (against evil) shall be in the midst of gardens and fountains:
Enter them in peace, secure.
And We will root out whatever of rancor is in their breasts-- (they shall be) as brethren, on raised couches, face to face.
Toil shall not afflict them in it, nor shall they be ever ejected from it.


Inform My servants that I am the Forgiving, the Merciful,
And that My punishment-- that is the painful punishment.

Holy Quran, 15:28-50

* * *

(1) History - past background
(2) disobedience, opposition to God & angels
(3) racism & arrogance -- Ego
(4) such is cursed and rejected
(5) the plot unfolds
(6) supreme disbelief: blaming Allah for his own sins
the promise to mislead mankind.
The manner of tricking us to sin: he makes evil appear good.
Know Your Enemy.
(7) the limits of his power -- you can be free
(8) the promise & the threat
Allah will help and protect the good
and He will punish the bad

and this is the setting for our lives.

* * *

lessons from daily 50,
16/08/08

The nemesis of Ego ...the true & ugly nature part III

Humility Personified

The prophet Moses (as) is the Quranic example of humility personified, the only trait capable of opposing the supreme ego of Pharaoh and defeating it. Prophet Moses (as) was raised like a prince in the palace of Pharaoh, under the wing of one of the most self-centered and egotistical characters in the whole of history; yet remaining considerate and aware enough of the rights of others – even those of a lower class in society -- not to behave similarly. Instead of arrogance and the status of a living god which was set before him, Moses (as) humbly accepted his identity as one of the Bani Israel, the oppressed and humiliated slaves, referring to them as “his people”(5:20). When he came to the aid of one of his kinsmen and accidentally killed another man, Moses (as) immediately accepted the mistake of his actions with the words, “This is a work of Evil (Satan): for he is an enemy that manifestly misleads!” (28:15). He did not deny it, oppressing the victim further by concocting lies to blame the deceased, nor belittle the life taken using his standing in the house of Pharaoh to argue he was entitled to behave as he did. Moses (as) was considerate enough of people's rights and aware enough of the world to have firm belief in God before he met or became a prophet, knowing that by killing a man he had exceeded the limits of his position. He immediately begged repentance of Allah, acknowledging his error and immediately wishing to rectify his actions as best he could (28:16-7). Moses (as) did not expect or believe he deserved preferential treatment; he was respectful of the law, the rights of others, and was afraid of the consequences of his act, albeit unintentional (28:18, 28:21).

When he ran away, Moses (as) was not so arrogant as to believe that he could command sustenance or provide for himself through his own power, instead humbly placing his trust in God, the true provider, saying, “O my Lord! truly am I in (desperate) need of any good that Thou dost send me!” (28:24). Further, despite his difficult and distressing situation, the prophet Moses (as) was neither self-absorbed nor oblivious to the condition of others around him, and helped some ladies to water their flock without asking for a reward regardless of his need for it. This is the pinnacle of selfless behaviour – defeating even reactionary egotism and behaving with the utmost consideration instead: being aware of the lordship of God, and considering the situation of others even when your own is much worse, to the point of not asking for recompense even though you are in great need, and they may be able to provide it.

At the assumption of his prophethood, Moses (as) went into spontaneous prostration on the ground with his forehead in the dust, as an expression of his complete submissiveness and humility, being the first to do so amongst men. For his perfect humility, Allah awarded Moses (as) the honorable status of Kalim Allah – the only man ever to be directly spoken to by God, not through the means of revelation via angels. And in the fashion of true humility, the first reaction of Moses (as) to the news that he is a prophet of God is to regard his own worth as small compared to others, and ask for the assistance of his brother Aaron (as), who he considered to have eloquence and capabilities above his own (28:34).

Moses (as) had to stand his ground against the man who had been like a father to him, but did so without disrespect, nor showing egotism in his reactions and becoming a rival to Pharaoh by behaving in a manner similar to him. Instead he simply, humbly, carried out the orders of Allah; being unmoving in his principles, without spite, malice or injustice; asking for the release of the Bani Israel and the acceptance of all humans as equally worthy under the banner of servitude of God.

With the perfection of humility, man will ensure he never acts purely for his own gain to the detriment of others. He will ally himself with justice and the laws of God, encouraging considerate and moral behaviour through his actions, enjoining equality, justice and respect for all beings; promoting harmony, good relations and equity between all. The humble man will inspire love for himself in the hearts of the oppressed through honouring their rights, the respect and obedience of his fellow men for enjoining the unbiased and just truth which benefits them as well as he, and the unity of his society under his direction as a selfless champion for good and an honest servant of God.

The adoption of humility protects and establishes faith, familial and societal relations, respecting the rights of God and all men, uniting, safeguarding and elevating the status of mankind as a whole.

* * *

The Critical Point

Ego is the root of most social & religious ills. It results in unjust, amoral and inconsiderate behaviour. Adoption of humility not only preserves the spirit of religious duty, worship, and societal structure; but also safeguards the rights of individuals and forms the basis for strong, understanding and affectionate friendships and familial relations. Humble behaviour in practice manifests itself simply as good manners and respect for others. Those whose behaviour becomes characterised by their humility will become respected personalities, beloved leaders of men and devoted servants of God who establish His laws in the community. It is for this reason that considering the rights of God and others and having good manners are stressed so much in Islamic teachings; being the practical method through which the religious ideals are upheld.

It is for these reasons that ego and selfishness should be combated in all considerate human beings, particularly believers, who wish to respect the rights of others and the orders of God.

* * *

Summer '08

Ego by Example... the true & ugly nature part II

Ego personified

There are two main examples of supremely egotistical people in the Quran, in the form of some of the most evil characters in history.

*

Iblees is the first. He refused to obey Allah out of arrogance: “(Iblis) said: "I am better than he: thou createdst me from fire, and him thou createdst from clay."” (38:76). He did not apologise or repent when Allah expelled him from the garden. He did not ask forgiveness like Adam and Eve, but instead asked for respite until the day of Judgement so that he could lead men astray out of even more spite (7:14-16; 15:36-40). He is the epitome of arrogance and blind pride, refusing to back down even when he suffers the greatest loss through his stance, never once repenting from the beginning of mankind's history until this day, even though he had been warned of the punishment for disobedience (7:18). In true self-absorbed fashion, he refuses to acknowledge his own accountability for his devious acts, in his arrogance even accusing Allah of leading him astray.

“He said: My Lord! Because Thou hast sent me astray...” (15:39)

Becoming self-focussed and behaving in an arrogant and selfish fashion is to behave like Iblees, and behaving as he would wish mankind to. It is tantamount to worship of Satan.

*

“"Did I not enjoin on you, O ye Children of Adam, that ye should not worship Satan; for that he was to you an enemy avowed? - and that ye should worship Me, (for that) this was the Straight Way?” (36:60-61)

* * *

The second is the Pharaoh of Moses (as). He was the most egotistical and arrogant man, claiming he was god, refusing to accept the truth despite the clear miracles brought by Moses – the staff, his hand, the 7 plagues and parting of the sea; “And they said( to Moses): Whatever sign you may bring to us to charm us with it-- we will not believe in you” (7:132). Despite the truth clearly appearing before him, he turned his face from it and insisted upon falsehood. When Moses first brought the miracle of the staff, he refused to accept it and sent for the most learned magicians in his kingdom. When the magicians saw the miracle of Moses and immediately knew the truth of his message and submitted to it, Pharaoh not only refused to do the same, but threatened the magicians with torture and death (7:123-4). He stubbornly denied and rejected all but his own preferred version of reality, reverting to his unbelief despite having to ask Moses to pray to God to lift the plagues (7:134-5).

*

“Then he (Pharaoh) said, “I am your lord, the most high”. So Allah seized him with the punishment of the hereafter and the former life.” (79:24-5)

* * *

Ego in Reactions

It is not necessarily the case that a person is always egotistical, nor always considerate and selfless. Through various times of a person's life they may adopt either approach, and one should not think that they are completely free of egotistical behaviour simply because most of the time they behave considerately. By the same token, one should not consider a person completely egotistical and self-centered based on their behaviour at any given time. It may be that the usually caring and attentive mother snaps at her child because she was interrupted in the middle of a dangerous task.

In times of difficulty or distraction the ego is more likely to take over and cause bad behaviour, for example when stressed, worried, in physical or emotional pain, concentrating on a difficult task or rushing to meet a deadline. In these cases, albeit temporarily, our attention is greatly diverted to the matter at hand, and can result in inconsiderate or bad behaviour to those around us. We should understand, even when so preoccupied, that others still deserve respect and consideration regardless of the situation we find ourselves in.

Ego may also take over when we are faced with what we see as undeserved obnoxious or unfair treatment from another person. In times like this the most common reflex reaction is to meet like with like, and reflect a bad attitude back to the person who has offended us. This may take the form of accusations or abuse, refusing to acknowledge our bad deeds, refusal to apologise, behaving more stubbornly than usual, refusing to compromise or discuss the matter – all severely egotistical behaviour, employed simply because this is the standard set by the other party. Although we have not initiated the conflict in this case, we should not see our behaviour as justified: a person may have infringed upon our right to be treated with fairness and dignity, but it is equally an infringement of their rights for us not to behave so towards them. Reacting badly in an instant destroys the channels of communication and apology, whereas a little consideration of the possible reasons for the bad behaviour of the other party could lead to dialogue and resolution of the conflict, with the dignity of all intact. When faced with kindness or humility in the face of their bad behaviour, people who are usually considerate but facing some form of difficulty would most likely be prompted to examine their behaviour, apologise and rectify it; thereby restoring respectful societal relations.

Ego on the part of both someone suffering and someone ill-treated by one who is suffering, damages their relationships with each other, closes the channels of communication, ends friendships, promotes malice and lack of understanding; ultimately causing rifts between people and thereby degrading the fabric of the community.

The adoption of egotism destroys faith, familial and societal relations, denies rights and humiliates mankind as a whole.

* * *

to remember -- watch that ego
you are not free of it
May '08.

The true and ugly nature of Ego

Most major sins and conflicts which may appear in daily life are rooted in the ego, and based upon the fact that man is inwardly focussed and deeply absorbed in himself, at the expense of his appreciation of the outer realities and outside world.

In relations with God, particularly prayer, being self-focussed self-aware results in man being absorbed in his own thoughts and not paying attention to his words and acts. There is no communion with God in such prayers, as man has turned his attention inwards and made his own ego the focus of the time spent in the actions of worship. Those self focussed will be automatically inclined to please themselves in any given situation. For such people there is no pressing deterrent to committing sin if the immediate gains of the act are pleasing; as they have lost sight of God and do not act to please Him. The self-absorbed may dwell in a state of delusion about their sins, redefining what is good and evil according to their self-limited awareness and understanding, and begin to commit even great sins openly and without shame or realising how they are humiliating themselves. They may try to argue their stance to others as a form of self-justification, using superficial and subjective reasoning.

In the extreme, the self-absorbed person may commit terrible sins against God and his own soul openly, without shame, repentance or acknowledging his wrong.

Man in this state has taken his lower self as an idol before God, in a state diametrically opposed to the religious ideal of servitude and worship; humility and being God-focussed and God-aware.

In relations with others, the self-focussed person will be oblivious to the state of those around him. He will inconvenience or spite them unintentionally, as it is outside his nature to consider their needs or situation. He will dismiss the impact of tragedies in the lives of others; being unable to see himself in their position and so understand their suffering. However, he will be quick to take exception at small things others may do (intentionally or not so) which he feels are burdensome or offensive to him. He will be oblivious to his own deeds which may affect others similarly, and will likely become offended or start acting with hostility if confronted over his actions – in which he perceives no wrong. Due to this mental state, self-focussed people will seldom see their own mistakes in a conflict situation. They will consider themselves victims, will never apologise nor initiate reconciliation, and will only accept the apology of the other party after long persuasion in which those apologising party cannot in any way defend their past actions. The self-focussed person will cause a great deal of emotional pain and difficulties for their loved ones often without realising, straining familial relationships perhaps even to breaking point.

In the extreme, the self-absorbed person may commit terrible crimes and injustices against other people or society in general, without hesitation, regret or acknowledging his wrong.

Man in this state has taken himself as a king above all others. He decides his comfort, happiness and pleasure are much more real and worthy of consideration than that of others, which he cannot appreciate and so dismisses. Such behaviour, even if not intentional or based on malice, destroys the foundation of societal structure and the larger religious ideal of a harmonious and moralistic community, through removing the mutual consideration members of society must have for each other for its basic function.

* * *

learnt the hard way -- from experience
May '08